About

I’m the son of a narcissistic mother, and I’m 37 years old. I grew up as a single child of a narcissistic mother.

When I went through this hell with my narcissistic mother, I always felt like I was completely alone with this situation, and it seemed like nobody would understand what I’m talking about. Whenever I tried to reach out to other people for help or advice, I heard things like: “she’s just very busy, you have to understand her”, or “you have to support her more”, or “she just wants your best”, or “she does it all just for you” and so on. Especially the sentence “in the end, she’s just your mother” seemed to be burned into the people’s minds.

Throughout my life, I’ve experienced things like anxiety, panic attacks, depression, and more, but I never made a connection to my narcissistic mother. I always thought that these things came from being stressed out at uni or at work, or something like that. All my research back then just led to “stressed out mothers”, or so, but I found nothing that could describe the situation I was in because I was simply not aware of the term “Narcissist” yet. 

4 years ago, I read the term Narcissistic Personality Disorder for the first time, and that was the turning point of my life, when I broke the invisible, toxic chains with my narcissistic mother and started my own, free life. I’ve made a lot of big, life-changing decisions since then, and I don’t have any contact with my narcissistic mother anymore.

Why I Created My Narcissistic Mother

I’ve decided to create this blog page to share my personal experience, and to give suggestions and hope to the people who are in a similar situation with their narcissistic mother or father. I’m not a psychiatrist or some other form of therapist, but the son of a narcissistic mother. In my opinion, this topic is hushed up far too much by society today.

I want to create an awareness of what happens behind closed doors, when the narcissistic mother takes off her mask and shows her true face. What might not be visible to everybody else is an ongoing, psychological torture for her child. The narcissistic mother creates an invisible, toxic bond with her child, and feeds on his or her energy. 

The Key is: Knowledge

Throughout my journey of researching NPD, I have met many people of different ages from all around the world who told me about their experiences with their narcissistic mother. I realized that I’m not the only one with this problem, and I started putting things together to see the whole cluster of a narcissistic mother from the outside. I started to understand that there is a direct link to anxiety, panic attacks, depression, alcohol and drug abuse, and many more, and that also physical problems such as high blood pressure, heart problems, headache, dizziness, etc. can appear. 

I’m not saying that I’m completely healed from the wounds of narcissistic abuse, but I could finally find my true self and listen to my own feelings, instead of living for my narcissistic mother. Almost every day, I realize something new and can make another connection. Healing is a process that doesn’t happen in just a day – it takes time. The most important factor – the key point – on this journey of healing is knowledge! Only with knowledge and the understanding that we’re dealing with a narcissistic mother, we can evaluate our situation, estimate what to do, and eventually find our true self. 

Forgive, but don’t forget!
Peter